Sometimes, people need is a real desperate

 2012-04-02 01:07:57   评论   974次浏览


Two days before the friends wrote to me and asked me how to overcome loneliness. She and I first came to the United States, English is not good enough, a friend, a person waiting for the dawn, a man waiting for dark. "Every school, home, library, gym, a few first-line".
I said I do not have a good idea, because I have never overcome this problem. Over the years I have learned is to adapt to it. Adapt to loneliness, as to adapt to a disability. Happy this matter, there are many factors "not to the subjective will. Genes, experience, and you happen to run into. But full, can be self-reliant.

Russell said the three major driving forces of his life is the pursuit of knowledge, the longing for love, compassion on the suffering. You see, which of these three, in addition to the second, the other two are self-sufficient, have the hard work of the symmetry of the harvest. My happy, of course, I is not painful. Thin life event density is very low, said yesterday, one day I did what: 10 o'clock, get up, pack up and saw a more than half of the book on the History of the Ming and reading. 13:00, to go out, find a coffee shop to buy something from the inside casually when lunch, and then take that to change a paper. Staring out the window during the swirling snow, a half an hour creative pear body of poetry. 19:00, go home, hands-point meal, looked to one hour of television, back to the e-mail several. 10:00, watched a DVD Korean film "Spring seasons." 12:00, reading books on the Cold War.
2:00, with a classmate, phone, Internet stroll, getting ready for bed. This is basically a typical day: a. Books, computers, DVDs. Average one week to go to school to listen to two lectures. Working days on average to have lunch with friends once a weekend for dinner once. How thin of life, who I got close to have altitude sickness. Alone the taste, of course painful, worse, alone has a cumulative effect. Equally important things, you first minute holding its fifth hour holding it, the feel is certainly different. Lonely, too, occasionally stolen half a day to see a movie, and one year, two years or three years, five years to fend for themselves and their own drinking beer, the consequences of course completely different. I had with a once because of a political event sat firmly's friends to chat, he describes the life of several years in solitary confinement, to describe this: Day Break, such as Japan.
Right can be really exact.
I had boasted in his diary wrote: Out of a sense of responsibility, I assume the loneliness of the world. I mean, I not only lonely, and my loneliness variety shapes and sizes: too man in estrogen a woman in the men pile too; scholars inside too Laocu, in Laocu inside too scholars; inside Wen Qing too cynical, too cynical inside the Green Man; too westernized Chinese people inside and foreigners inside too .... I think God sent me to the world, is likely to do an identity disorder of psychological experiments.
I do not really lonely, really cheerful and lively. But most of the time I'm lazy, too lazy to operate a relationship.
Some of the time, that is, love of freedom, that any kind of relationship are bound. Of course, the most important, or a bosom friend is hard to find. I always feel like most people exchanges, always only come up with a dimension, it is difficult to find people and their interest in the endless. Modest version of this sentence to say is: difficult to find one like me, mentally disordered people. Sometimes anxious. I am fortunate to live in, do not eat much pain after the Third Plenary Session of the Eleventh Central Committee, but the pain I've ever experienced, there is nothing more than lonely destructive. This is not just missed a dinner between friends and relatives laughing warmth, not only because of the young women of a literary story, conflict, life in the lush natural yearning, but also because the idea of ​​a person always needs to collision to maintain. Long-term loneliness, like a dot out of the coordinate system, sometimes you do not know to think for themselves whether the problem is really into their problems, you often see that others in their own thoughts one can see the tremendous loopholes, you do not know what is the big and small because they can not see others, you do not know what is white, because they can not see the black.

In short, you will worry, old and this alone will not be more silly? As if it is getting silly. But other times, both scared and Sa in the person's vitality. This lack of communication, communication, stimulation, debate, joke, chat, scandal, rumor, hearsay, gossip, MSN ... life does not have any circles for many years only by his own dialogue with their own, I also insisted on think, to maintain the expression of desire, but also to write the novel political commentator paper blog, showing that the will take a rubber band to hold off, but also not so easy.
Endure the limit is raised results? "Let me tell you that endure is no limit. Young, I think that alone is a cool thing. Grow up, I think that alone is very bleak. Now, I think that alone is not a thing. At the very least, try not to let it be one thing. Sometimes, people need is real despair. Real despair and pain, sorrow has nothing to do. People calm, so that you realize you can not rely on others, any person, to be happy.
It allows you humble, because all others can bring you, have become a surprise. It allows you to only return to their heart. The heart of each person are different, they can dialogue with each other.
You can also learn to observe the small things change, the weather, season, prices of vegetables in the supermarket, street children, beautiful, you know, everything has it's worth exploring the secrets, if you really - I mean, truly - looked at it . Of course, there are books, newspapers, film and television, network, DVDs, CD, there are the lives of others, the truth about the world, the beauty of music, the magic of knowledge, the possibility of love, outrageous politicians .. .

Hong eighty-life can not exhaust these reasons, beauty, love, magic of a small fingernail, how can you complain that life has given us too little. The despair is not discouraged, it's just the fate of the normalized fate, their own owned by such a fact that is the attitude. That is, it is free. Ago, a friend of mine wrote a poem called "A man should be like a team. I imagine the Cultural Revolution, Gu Zhun, prison Xiaokai writing outside of literary circles, Wang Xiaobo, is such a person.

Underappreciated, riding a boat, a person is like a team, in front of their minds and hearts to recruit, did not despair, call love of freedom. I think after all, is fortunate, not only because of outside income, but also because I pretty solid. Always be beaten to pieces, but the total but also to the "nine" before God number of old to stand up again, and then looking at the sea, or excitement, of joy jump into it. In the face of the vast world, a person how humble, how happy he would. Russell said that knowledge, love, compassion is the driving force of his life, I feel that simply can be a romantic old fool fraternizing. Such luck, I forgive the frustration they experienced alone, forgive his sensitivity, anxiety and nervousness, to forgive God his old X does not like me, so I do not like the Y, so that so many people taller than I am the United States, or wisdom than I forgive him for letting me grow old fat.
Because the world's finest quality to me: do not be discouraged, call love of freedom. If you are still lonely underappreciated world Murky I alone am sober and sighs deeply, then let me tell you, you can not buy that lottery ticket, do not you time savings of two, two spent back to your heart, find your own soul, and together they set out to travel. If you have enough curiosity, you can stay at home and travel around the world, penniless, while the wealthy. Life if friends accompanied of course wonderful, but scarce, really, maybe neither case without resort, ask for anything yourself, you have to bent over and stretched toward the dark depths of their own shot to go.



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